Reliant
by bmw.remixed
Summary: [Urahara,Nell AU] Urahara finds himself dodging Ceros in a pink frilly apron. [Crack]


**Start: **3.11.07  
**End: **3.24.07

Once again, no appropriate titling abilities.

* * *

**Reliant  
**(Written for a Challenge on LJ's asteriskplus)

* * *

Urahara's shop has seen many strange sights, from the potentially distructive like Jinta pushing Ururu a bit too far and her accidentally activating her Genocide mode (in stopping her, he was this close to activating Bankai) to the potentially illegal like Yoruichi transforming back to her human form in the middle of the day and once again forgetting about the necessity of clothes. But never in all its years, has it seen the former captain of the Gotei 13 decked in a frilly pink apron (apparently, it was the only one they had), spoon feeding a noxious concoction of Gikongai pills and animal parts to a less than receptive female Arrancar.

When Urahara had first taken Ichigo's offer, he had figured that it was only one kid, and as a previous Captain of the Gotei 13, he should be able to handle the Arrancar if it gets out of hand.

"Well! Aren't you a cute little thing!" Urahara practically squealed as he saw Ichigo come through the shop door with Nell in tow. "Look at that face; you're just so precious… Yes, you are! Yes, you are! Who's a good widdle awancaw? Who's a good wid—ow!"

"Careful, Getaboshi, kid's been a bit hungry since we left Hueco Mundo." Ichigo warned half-heartedly as he took in the wares in front of him. "Tries to swallow practically anything in front of her face."

"Well, what did you feed her last time?" he mumbled through the bleeding finger in his mouth.

"What do you mean last time? It's not like I have extra human souls to spare. She hasn't fed since Hueco Mundo."

"What?" he exclaimed, "That was a week ago!"

"Well, what can you do about it?" shrugged Ichigo casually. He uncrossed his arms and started to walk out the door, calling back as he went, "I wouldn't worry about that bite, her spit's got some healing properties. It'll be fine in a few minutes."

"Yeah! Nell'th thpit can help people!" the young Arrancar suddenly called out. She began tugging at the legs of Urahara's pants, proudly informing him of her abilities. "If you need morw, Nell can pull on her throat penith and 'jaculate morw for you!"

Urahara blinked.

"…What?? …Thanks, Nell…I think."

He walked calmly to where Ichigo was putting on his shoes at the from door, and tapped him on the shoulder, nodding as he spoke, "you know, in the Seireitei, where I come from, pedophilia is frowned upon…"

His comment was met by the patented Ichigo-wants-you-to-die-in-a-hole look. "Shut up, you pervert. Just figure out a way to feed her." Without another word, the redhead picked up his books and promptly proceeded towards the exit, muttering under his breath about sick men's fantasies the whole time.

"Don't die on us, Kurosaki!" Urahara called sweetly after him.

* * *

That was a month ago.

A month since the Ryoka had disappeared to Hueco Mundo again, and a month since Nell had begun wreaking havoc around his shop.

"Come on, Nell, eat. Please?"

"No! Nell wants candy! Candy! Nell dothen't like thoulth." She pounded on her table with her fist, acting like any other toddler.

"Nell, you're a growing… Hollow. You need to eat." This was going against all his upbringing, nurturing a Hollow to grow and develop into a soul-eating, flesh ripping monster.

"No!"

"Nell..." his tone became warning.

"Getaboshi is a meanie-head!"

"Nell, what did we say about name calling?"

"Buttfathe!"

"Young lady!"

"Ugly!"

"Ne—"

"Virgin! Pedophile! Necrophile! Manl-lover! An--"

"-- Fine! Fine!" He interrupted her before she got even more graphic. Urahara tried another tact. "Fine. How's this? Nell, if you eat, I'll play with you, 'kay?"

"Yay! Play Nell Donpe Brotherth!!" she shrieked in happiness, "You can be Bawabawa!"

"Okay! I'm glad we understand each other! Now be a good girl and open up!"

"No!"

* * *

A hour and a half, three broken bowls, two narrowly missed (and very unstably formed) Ceros, and one ruined beyond repair apron later, Urahara found himself crawling around his underground training room with Nell on his back, chattering to herself (and occasionally to him).

"Bawabawa! Leth go find Donde and Peche!" Nell kicked him in the sides and bounced excited on his back.

"Unngah," Urahara intoned flatly.

"No! No! No! Bawabawa dothen't thound like that! Bawabawa goeth '_Unnnngahroooooaaaaaaaaaa_!' You're a bad Bawabawa!"

"_Unngaaaaaah_."

"No! Getaboshi is bad at thith…"

The little Arrancar scratched at her mask, rubbing it fervently and whined softly, "Nell wants the real Bawabawa… Nell mitheth Donde and Peche… Nell doethn't wanna be here, dun like Thinigami, dun like Getaboshi, and dun like Ichigo for leaving Nell here!" She began to cry, her wails echoing across the large room.

Hearing her, Urahara sighed, and reached up with one arm to shift the kid off his back. Moving into a sitting position, he set Nell down on his lap. She immediately grabbed hold of his shirt and began to sob loudly. He patted her head awkwardly, not knowing how to deal with crying children. Yoruichi was the woman of the house, damn it, children were her job (although if she ever heard him saying that, she'd gouge his eyes out and do other unthinkable things).

"You'll… see them soon." He struggled for a way to comfort her. "When Ichigo comes back, he'll bring your friends with him and then we can all purify you at the same time and then you can all go to the Soul Society at the same time!"

Nell sniffled, and looked up at him with wide tear-stained eyes, "Really?"

"Of course! Ichigo won't let you down!"

"…But what if the Ethpada find them? They're traitorth now… The thcary people will kill them…"

In the end, she really was a scared lonely kid, missing her family. He drew her closer to his chest and hugged her tighter. "Ichigo won't lose, and he won't let your friends die. You can count on that. Ichigo won't lose."

"But – "

"Shh… Don't worry. With Ichigo there, you don't have to worry. Plus, he has Rukia-san and Renji-san and Ishida and Chad and Yoruichi-sama and even more Shinigami behind him to assist him. There's nothing to worry about." He forced a smile.

Nell snuggled deeper into his chest, the top of her hair brushing against his chin. He gently tapped the portion of her mask that rested on top of her head, tracing the eyeholes and teeth. She wiped the tears from her face and stated defiantly, "Yeah, Ichigo will win. Ethpada will never beat him!"

_Yeah, Ichigo will win. Ichigo can only win. Well, you'd better win, Kurosaki, I don't like telling lies. Especially not to children._

Urahara remained seated there, thinking of how many people were depending on the Ryoka and his survival. Not only Seireitei and the human world, but Hueco Mundo too. When Nell eventually fell asleep on his lap, curled into a ball against his chest, using his outer shirt as a blanket. Making sure he didn't wake up the little Arrancar, he propped her up in one arm and made his way back up the ladder to his shop.

_Ichigo, if you die, it's not just the dead and the living you'll have to answer to. It's also those like us, who are stuck in between._

Urahara's shop has seen some strange things, but never the former captain asleep in his room with a toddler Arrancar curled on his chest sucking her thumb. Various naked women, yes. Extremely powerful Hollows, no. If Urahara's shop had a mind, it would've decided that it liked this sight a lot better.

* * *

Give it up for the spontaneous angsty ending! 


End file.
